The Science of Studying

Finals week.  The week that comes around twice a year when students post cliché Instagrams of Starbucks, textbooks, and laptops with the tags “#studygrind #library #adderall” attached.  When those who have never stepped foot in the library set up camp for hours each day mindlessly staring at the half-assed notes they tried to take all year.  Everyone has their own studying methods, but there is an easy way to classify yourself as one of two types.

Quantity Studiers

Quantity studiers are the ones that leave their room at 9 a.m. and come back at midnight.  This group makes up the majority of the people you see who have made the library their home for the week.  Their diets consist of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Red Bull, and Jimmy Johns.  Often you’ll hear quantity studiers “bragging” about how much time they spent in the library “studying”.…

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Which Type of Professor Do You Have This Semester?

THE ARTSY PROFESSOR

This guy most likely has long hair that he puts in a ponytail. I mean, what is the point of having a guy mane if you are going to wear it in a ponytail every single fucking day? And don’t forget the occasional fedora. He’s cool, calm and collected and never follows the syllabus. We like this professor because he cancels class often but we get annoyed when he pulls us aside to suggest another “good read” by Edgar Allen Poe.

THE GRAD STUDENT

Let’s be honest, we ALL hate the grad student professor. This person is so unnecessarily strict, I guess because they are trying to “prove” themselves? Whatever, we hate them because they assign busy work that they ACTUALLY grade. He or she is also a know-it-all, another quality no one notices and jumps for joy. No one gives a shit about all your accomplishments, you nerd.…

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